Room Conversation
Neither it is my business to deal with family life.
760524R1-Honolulu [13:20 Minutes]
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
She has come to an impasse in her family life. She doesn’t know what to do. So the situation, I think you are familiar with, that Gaurasundara has been living with this other girl for three years, and Govinda dāsī is under the impression that you’ve sanctioned that Gaurasundara can have two wives.
Prabhupāda:
He…, she can imagine anything. What can I do?
Govinda dāsī:
Well, he told me that you sanctioned it.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
I said that…
Govinda dāsī:
Gaurasundara will come back.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
…that you were sympathetic that these young girls had no husbands, but…
Prabhupāda:
We have nothing to do with it.
Govinda dāsī:
The girl is agreeable to going, to… She doesn’t care, and I just want Gaurasundara to come back.
Prabhupāda:
No, we should not enter into this family. Gaurasundara is out of question. These things we should not deal. It is my suggestion that so many girls are without husband, if a husband can maintain three dozen wives I have no objection.
Govinda dāsī:
He doesn’t maintain me.
Prabhupāda:
Huh? Then what can I do?
Govinda dāsī:
Yes.
Prabhupāda:
That is your husband. But I say if a person is able to maintain three dozen wives, then I have no objection. Now, if he does not maintain you, then what can I do? That is your situation.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
I think I have told her the same thing.
Prabhupāda:
Neither it is my business to deal with family life. No more. That is my general opinion. But if a husband can maintain more than one wife… It is to be a question of maintaining. But if one is not maintaining, what can I do? Now we shall not deal with family affairs anymore. We give chance to the gṛhastha to develop Kṛṣṇa consciousness, but we cannot tax our brain over that. That is not possible.
Generally gṛhastha should live apart from temple. Gṛhastha should not live in the temple. If that is becoming a problem. Every gṛhastha must take care of wife, children, maintenance. But how you can do that, temple-living? Temple is meant for the renounced, for the brahmacārīs, who have no, I mean to say, embarrassment, that “I have to take care of my wife, I have to take care of children, I have to do this, I have to do that.”
As soon as one becomes gṛhastha, he has got his own unit. So everyone has got his fashion how to maintain their unit. Now how the temple can do it, handle this? Better avoid. This is our [indistinct] small temple [indistinct], it is not possible. Temple is meant for person who is exclusively interested for Kṛṣṇa culture. We are advising to stop sex, and gṛhastha life is sex life. So how we can [laughs] tax our brain? The gṛhastha life is sex life, straightforward sex life. So we are advising “No sex.”
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
A constant worry in your [indistinct], Śrīla Prabhupāda.
Prabhupāda:
Huh?
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
That must be worry in your [indistinct].
Prabhupāda:
That’s all right. Don’t worry. So about this sex āśrama, it is not possible to tax our brain. But according to the Vedic system, if a man marries more than one wife, there is no objection. How it is possible in this condition here in the Western country, that is your look after. But we have no objection, if one maintains more than one wife.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
They cannot live in the temple separately in such a circum…
Prabhupāda:
Huh?
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
If they want to do so, they can’t live in the temple separately?
Prabhupāda:
No, no. In the temple even with one wife it is not possible. We have to restrict that. Nowhere in the temple in India families are there. If families are attached to the temple they live separately, not in the temple building. That is strictly prohibited. It is becoming a little problem, because there are girls, there are boys, so the temple is becoming a lovemaking center. Even one gṛhastha is good; he has got his wife, he is implicated with another woman. Even if one is gṛhastha. The girl is after another husband. This is the practice of these Westeners.
Even they are allowed to live as gṛhastha, then it will still create havoc. It will be very problematic. I thought, “Let them be married.” So their business is different-sense enjoyment. Sometimes here, sometimes there, sometimes where? Sometimes take sannyāsa, then again implicated with another woman. These things should be at once stopped. It will deteriorate. They cannot take care of the children, in nursery school. Hmm? Every woman is taking care of her child. Why not woman taking care of ten children? Then the mothers will be free to do some help to the organization. Well, in the morning they were talking. Everyone is anxious to take care of their children. Even they marry, there is problem, children and, what is it called, adultery. Eh
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
Mixing with another man’s wife.
Prabhupāda:
Yes. And if they do not marry, then man is hunting after woman, and woman is hunting after man. So both ways there is trouble. If they marry, legally, then there are children. Then the problem is you have to take care of the children.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
And they don’t even take care of the children.
Prabhupāda:
This is very great problem. The temple is meant for advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Therefore those who are carefree of family life can live any way; there is no question of much anxiety for living and eating—that is secondary. Then they can live in temple. One who wants to live comfortably, with wife, with sex, with children—that is a big problem for the temple.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
Apparently.
Prabhupāda:
These things disturb Tamāla Kṛṣṇa. Therefore he wanted to make some stricture. But they become very much upset. I don’t want to upset; let them live. But they must always remember the temple is meant for only advancing Kṛṣṇa consciousness. We should not bring other problems. This household life is material problems, sex problems. So how the temple can take responsibility for these problems? Then Kṛṣṇa consciousness will be slack. So? That’s all right? So don’t…
Govinda dāsī:
Śrīla Prabhupāda, I wanted to show you these pictures also. Siddha-svarūpa gave them to me. They are from… They are deities that they made in the Philippines, very inexpensively, by their sculptors there, and they are made out of wood. And they are copies. I just thought you would be interested.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
How big are those deities? You know? How big are those deities?
Govinda dāsī:
They are twenty-seven inches high, and they only cost fifteen dollars each to make, and they are made out of carved wood. The anatomy is not very nice—I mean it could be better—but that is because I think they did not have anything to copy. But the Phili… They were very, very cheap for wood. Very cheap for that much craftsmanship. They are poor there. But Sudāmā Vipra Mahārāja…
Prabhupāda:
He sent? The picture is sent by him?
Govinda dāsī:
No. Siddha-svarūpa just gave it to me as I was coming in. He showed it to me. And apparently it was sent to Siddha-svarūpa by Sudāmā, and I don’t…
Prabhupāda:
[indistinct] [break]
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa:
This is concerning that BBT business in Vṛndāvana…, in India. Gopal…. [break] [end]